You aren't a real sleep technologist until...
Sometimes, sleep technologists get together online, or in real life, to hammer out some deep or difficult cases, technical problems, or argue over some obscure minutia. But sometimes we get together to just sit back and relax and have fun.
Fun Thread by Sleep Technologists
This thread was recently the most popular in one online sleep technologist forum. It was so funny, and so sleep-techy, that I decided the funniest comments should be shared.
Fill in the blank: You're not a real sleep technologist until_____________________!!!!
KB: You flood the lab while cleaning masks!
HR: Real sleep tech checking in!!
JH: I've done that at 3 different labs... does that make me a pro? Ha ha ha
SL: I put my cup of wires in the sink with running water, blocking the drain. Took my wheelchair patient 1/4 mile to the parking lot. Came back and water had filled floor and was coming down hallway. Hospital sleep lab.
KB: Fitted the same patient with every. Single. Type. Of. Mask. In. The. Lab.
SV: And ended using THE FIRST MASK tried!!!!!!
KB: Been harassed by the Midnight Creeper!
RD: You read the list of meds and you already know the trouble in store for you tonight.
MF: Can tell if the patient is claustrophobic just by the way they act after you hook up the wires on them.
BD: You somehow ball your wires up into a complete knot......
MF: And you can untangle them really fast....:)
MM: Have a completely messed up circadian rhythm
SB: You reapply electrodes without even waking the patient up.
KB: Can answer the phone in the middle of the day out of a sound sleep and sound like you've been sitting there knitting all day waiting for their call.
MF: Can predict if the patient will be an emergency split just by the way they look...
BD: Most of your wardrobe consists of scrubs or sweats.
JS: or scrubs and jammies.
KB: Can walk into a dark room and reposition the mask and wires without even turning on a single light.
MF: Can multitask... monitor 2-3 patients, take notes, watch the movie, talk to your co-workers and check the comments on FB :)
MM: You know all late-night delivery restaurants in your area...as well as all breakfast restaurants!
MM: You have been called their nurse
HB: You go to work without sleeping and somehow stay awake.
AJV: You want to kill yourself when you hear someone snore during your off time.
MF: You know most of the sleep technologists in your area and all over the world (thanks to FB).
BD: It’s like a really messed up family...
SPB: You look at a random strangers nose at the grocery store and you know what mask you'd put on it. I'd PAP that.
AM: I'd PAP that! Ha ha I need that on a t-shirt!
BD: Having a beer or glass of wine at 8am seems perfectly normal.
JS: Isn't it???
MM: As well as knowing the establishments that serve alcohol at 8AM!
JS: ^ true dat!
HB: You get pissed off at the ISR!!!!!!!!
DT: OMG that monotone voice!
MD: That man must have been one hell of a sleep tech...I'd probably fall asleep during the biocals
MM: You can change bed sheets in record time!
KB: But never make your bed at home.
DT: You are drunk at a party and people start talking about their sleep problems. And you go into sleep tech mode
MM: You can completely restock your supply closet with tape and EKG pads with the one that are on your dresser at home because you forget they are in your pockets!
KB: You've diagnosed everyone you know with OSA..... and you know what mask will work for them.
MS: Diagnose every person you see at the grocery store, the mall, the gas station that you know has apnea!
KB: The majority of your posts on Facebook are about being sleep deprived and your love for coffee.
KB: You stay up longer than 24 hours on a pretty normal basis.... and you can still function.
SV: You push the wrong intercom when you hear “Ma'am?”, and wake the wrong patient.
KB: You've heated up your food 4 times already because each time you do your patient calls you to their room.
MM: You never leave the house without your sunglasses...because that sun's going to be in your eyes on the way home!
RC: You've stayed up 36+ hours straight.
NB: My adult kids are amazed that I can do it; of course I'm usually a wreck when they leave
KB: You know way too many reps and can quickly call them for help and masks.... and they send them directly to your house....... because they know your address by heart from previous shipments
KB: You've heard pretty much every possible topic at sleep conferences and yet you keep going just to meet up with your sleep peeps and hang out for a while!
RD: You can close your eyes at a sleep conference yet answer whatever questions come your way suddenly.
MM: You schedule all of your appointments at 8:30AM so you can get in bed quickly!
KB: You've heard "how am I gonna sleep with all these wires on me?" so many times that if someone gave you a $1 for every time you heard it, you could retire on a beach somewhere!!
KB: You accidentally leave your intercom off for several hours because you forgot to turn it back on when they returned from the bathroom.
BD: Or the perpetual "what’s wrong with c4??? driving you crazy until you realize you plugged it in wrong...
AJV: You get into a fight with your fiancé because he wants to discuss the nuances of scoring mixed apnea while you are interested in talking about ANY OTHER THING
AJV: You've gained 60 - 100 pounds since you started.
AJV: "...but first let me get a nap."
AJV: Can't keep your eyes open until it is finally time to go to bed. Then you're wide awake.
MM: ...you are excited about leaving work at 5:45, and in the dark!
SM: You doze off standing up in a NYC subway car on your way home at 8 am
SM: You hear your husband snore and put his mask on his face while you are still half asleep. And since he's a sleep tech too, he barely wakes up and thinks that this was all normal behavior
SB: You can figure out what mask your patient left at home within 2 questions. What color of straps and is it a full face mask?
KB: When you peg every one of your patient’s health issues, symptoms, and chronic conditions just by hearing them breathe.
KG: When you ask your CPAP re-titration patient what pressure they are on at home (because you have no history) and they absolutely insist they are on a pressure of 2.
MPM: You're so tired you start typing what you hear on the radio into the tech note.
RD: You look at random bald strangers on the subway and immediately salivate. #Pavlov
JSS: Especially if they are shaven.... Mr. Clean! I love you!!!
RD: You want to sleep with 5 pillows, your teddy bear, 3 blankets, long johns under your PJs? Sure. I've seen it all.
RD: You hate the Duck Dynasty trend. #beards!!
MS: Pediatric patients swings at you...and doesn't miss
KSN: You have no social life
RP: You wake up not knowing what day it is.
BC: Your patient tells you aliens visiting at night are the cause of their sleep problems!!! Yes true story
TL: You run out of nuprep ... you improvise. ... and you still get impedances less than 5 Kohms ....
KB: Until you've used a small belt as a chinstrap!
HB: Until you have giant linebacker almost crying at 4cm, while in the next room your 70 yr old lady is cruising at high bilevel pressures.
RP: Every conversation involving any type of health problem has you asking if that person has had a sleep study.
RD: "I've been doing this for XX years" means you're about to get sketchy information.
ZK: You go to work, and you are not scheduled that day
RD: At least 3x in last 6-7 yrs.
MB: I was there to witness it, RD!!
MBJ: Done that once this year already. I went to the wrong sleep lab. I went to CSPM and I was supposed to be at Ford. I pretended I was just stopping by to pick up something I forgot.
RS: You're not a real sleep tech until you are admitted into the Sleep Technologists Facebook Club.
SA: First Rule of Sleep Technologists Club... you don't talk about the Sleep Technologists Club!!
BD: I think I've done pretty much everything on this list....LOL